Where are you going, my little one, little one?
Where are you going, my Baby, my own?
Turn around and you're two, turn around and you're four,
Turn around and you're a young girl, going out of my door.

~ Lyrics to "Turn Around" ~


 

 





 

April 23 forever changed my love of the springtime. The Spring became a reminder of the most horrible day of my life. I wrote “The Death of a Flower” to express my grief over the “death” of the beauty I once found in the spring. But, the “flower” I truly grieved was my beloved daughter.



~~ The Death of a Flower ~~

Since childhood I have loved the fragrance of Honeysuckle.
I would vie with the honeybee for a blossom-laden branch
In which to bury my trusting little-girl face.
Its sweetness filled the air with the promise of Spring
And new beginnings and of wonderful things to come.

Then one fateful Spring day I stumbled from an open grave
That held captive my beloved child.
My very heart was ripped from my pain-wracked body
And cast into that dark hole.
Overhead, the sun shone brightly,
But my world was as black as the clothes I wore.

Suddenly, the haunting scent of Honeysuckle assaulted my nostrils.
Its old familiar sweetness clutched at my senses,
And a physical sickness overtook me.
Now no longer can I delight in the fragrance of the little flower. It brings bitter reminders of the sorrowful day I died
And was not allowed to be buried.

Where now are the promises of Spring?
Where now are the new beginnings?
Oh, Honeysuckle, thy sweetness is forever gone.
I lament thy passing.

Faye Mewbourne Martin

© Lisa’s Mom forever ©




If I am to wear this mourning cloak,
let it be made of the fabric of love,
woven by the fine thread of memory.




And then one Spring several years later, my oldest daughter, Denise, wrote a poem for me. She titled it simply, “What I Meant.” It was an answer to my poem! I felt that Lisa spoke to me through Denise and her poem. She was telling me what she meant by leaving in the spring. She did not mean to cause such pain – she meant to enter Paradise in the glorious spring. She said that she was with me in the fragrance of the Honeysuckle.



~~ What I Meant ~~

I never meant to make Springtime,
Such an aching lament for you!
Not that giddy, glowing, glorious time,
When the entire world is new.

I never meant to make Springtime,
So bitter with unending loss;
Filled with the echoes of red-brown clay,
Dropped onto a grim metal box.

Did you know that I grieve for you too?
Caught up in those treacherous mirrors,
Whose shattered, deceitful reflections,
Tell you this rapture is cause for despair.

I meant to make the Springtime,
My time to enter the angel’s dream;
To soar through the sky-blue doorway,
Into hillsides soft with promise, always green.

I wish you could rejoice for me on April 23rd,
And see how sweet is my soul arrayed;
With sun-soaked greens and yellows and blues,
Draped in satin and lilacs and pearls each day.

Breathe in the sweet breath of Spring!
In the scent of the velvet roses, I am;
In the shimmering mists to either side of your eyes, I am,
In the fragrance of the Honeysuckle, I am.

Ah, could you but see through my eyes now
You would rejoice for me in the Spring.

~~ Denise Lynn Mewbourne ~~
© For Lisa, my Sister forever ©






Denise and Lisa ages 19 and 16.






Denise, David and Lisa in 1987...
Brother and Sisters for all of eternity.




~~ For Lisa ~~


Your gentle face and pretty smile,
With sadness we recall;
You had a kindly word for each,
And died beloved by all.

The voice is mute and stilled the heart,
That loved us well and true;
Oh, bitter was the trial to part,
From one so good as you.

You are not forgotten, beloved Lisa,
Nor will you ever be;
As long as life and memory last,
We will remember thee.

We miss you now our hearts are sore,
As time goes by, we miss you more;
Your loving smile, your gentle face,
No one can fill your vacant place.

"In Memory of Lisa,
My prettiest and most special Great Niece..."

With love forever,
Aunt Kat
(Katherine McGinnis Hearn)

~ Aunt Kat is now in Heaven with Lisa ~




~ Aunt Kat & Faye ~






~~ Precious Child ~~

In my dreams, you are alive and well,
Precious child, precious child;
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell,
Precious child, precious child.
In my soul, there is a hole,
That can never be filled;
But in my heart, there is hope,
'Cause you are with me still.

In my heart, you live on,
Always there never gone;
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart.
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave,
Precious child, precious child;
But in this world, I was left here to grieve,
Precious child, my precious child.



In my soul, there is a hole,
That can never be filled;
But in my heart there is hope,
And you are with me still.

In my heart you live on,
Always there never gone;
Precious child you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart.

You will live forever... in my heart,
God knows I want to hold you;
See you, touch you;
And maybe there is a heaven...
And someday I will again,
Please know you are not forgotten until then;
In my heart you live on,
Always there never gone.


Precious child you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart;
You will live forever...in my heart.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Precious Child, Karen Taylor-Good
The melody "Precious Child" is written and performed
by Karen Taylor-Good in loving memory of her nephew, Paul Rodgers.




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of the music of, "Precious Child."

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If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane...
I'd climb right up to Heaven and bring you back again.






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~~~~~~~




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~ The "S" Word (Suicide) ~

~ Lisa's Wedding ~

~ Photos ~

~ A Love Denied ~

~ Lisa's Friends Remember ~

~ A Different Kind of Love Letter, From Lisa ~

~ Remember Me ~

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~ A Lamb's Last Message ~









~ CREDITS ~

Artwork used on this page is "Butterfly Kisses",
Image copyright © Jean Monti.
Artwork provided courtesy of Christ Centered Mall.



Midi playing, "Turn Around."